Bestow upon me your absence
thus beneath silver moon I’m hanging
ricochet of your reflections
let me reminisce deep within the heart
I want to stop you from leaving
instead of calling in a desperate silence
here I whisper to the wind from the balcony
to send you prayers
it will be enough
and more than a relief
keras pintu dibanting
I first tasted black coffee when I was in 3rd grade. It was Saturday night and I was wearing purple pajamas, could not sleep so I walked to living room and found my dad smoking his cigarette while watching TV. Mom allowed me to drink it, the same black coffee she made for dad. It was black and bitter but I really like the smell. It flowed through my nose, my lungs, and my brain. It energized my body, made my eyes focused. It was the first time I stayed up all night long with dad, only the two of us.
Dad’s gray eyes looked at the TV but did not focus at all, looked at somewhere I could not see. I knew something had been troubling his head but he did not tell anybody. He sipped his coffee, I copied him but he did not realize it. He was not there with me and I doubted he felt my presence beside him. I eyed him from head to toe back to eyes, his was empty. I looked at it, deeper, deeper, and deeper, felt his solitude, his pain, and his tired soul that he did not show to his family. I saw him standing alone against light on a pathway looked at the sky. He was older and weaker than his actual appearance. He turned his head, saw me, and he smiled at me.
And that day, I realized I have fallen in love with this man. I prayed to God to always fill my heart with love for him so I can always see his smile.
We sipped our black coffee.
I always remember my man and that night when I see or drink it.
Amid weeds in savannah
our feet meet in same direction walking side by side
with laughter, sweat, and heavy breath
this journey we take is to reach the top
where on clouds we stand and cold wind hits our face
as rising sun far in horizon will warm us
and in the mist that slowly moving
our conversation is in sync
talking about anything
joking about life
count 1, 2, 3 as we’re ready to run fast
count 1, 2, 3 as we laugh hard
count 1, 2, 3 as now the weeds are behind us